Introduction:
Effective Praise is the secret to transforming your child’s behavior. Hello, wonderful parents! As a preschool teacher, I’ve learned through Yale University’s ‘Everyday Parenting’ course that understanding the ABCs of Parenting is essential. Specifically, we must look at Antecedents, Behaviors, and Consequences. Furthermore, by using Effective Praise as a positive consequence, we can encourage the actions we want to see. However, many parents stick to generic phrases like ‘good job.’ Therefore, today I am sharing how this scientifically-backed method can truly unlock your child’s potential.
ABCs Of Parenting:
To understand how our children learn, we first look at the ABCs of parenting: Antecedents (what happens before), Behaviors (what the child does), and Consequences (what happens after). While many parents focus only on the behavior, the secret to real change lies in the consequence. By using Effective Praise as a positive consequence, you can reinforce the behaviors you want to see again. Today, I’m sharing how this research-backed approach to Effective Praise can help you unlock your child’s full potential.
What is Strategic Praise? (Inspired by Yale University)
We often say ‘Good job!’ or ‘Well done!’ and that’s nice. But ‘Strategic Praise’ is a powerful tool to help your child actually change and repeat desired behaviors. It has three key ingredients:
Be Enthusiastic!
What it means: Show your excitement! Use a big, happy smile, bright eyes, and an energetic voice. Your child needs to feel your positive emotion.
Example: Instead of a flat “Good,” say “WOW! That’s amazing!”
Be Specific!
What it means: Don’t just praise the child; praise the action. Tell them exactly what they did correctly. This helps them understand what behavior they should repeat.
Example: Instead of “You’re a good boy,” say “You put all your toys back in the box!” or “You shared your doll with your friend!”
Add a Touch!
What it means: A gentle, loving physical touch can make praise even more powerful. It connects your words with a positive physical feeling. Example: A high-five, a pat on the shoulder, a quick hug, or a rub on the head. Make sure it’s a comfortable touch for your child.
Putting It All Together: A Real-Life Example
Imagine your child finishes their homework.
Routine Praise: “Good job, you finished your homework.”
Strategic Praise: “YES! (Enthusiastic) You wrote all your letters neatly on the line! (Specific) Let’s do a high-five! (Touch)”
The Golden Rule: Praise Immediately!
For praise to be most effective, it must happen right after the good behavior. Don’t wait hours later or until dinner time to praise something your child did in the morning. The closer the praise is to the action, the stronger the connection your child makes.
A Big Warning: Avoid the ‘Caboose’!
This is crucial! The Yale course teaches us to avoid ‘Caboosing.’ This means never following your praise with a criticism or a demand. For example:
Bad Caboose: “Great! You picked up your toys! Now why can’t you always do that?”
This completely ruins the positive effect of the praise. Your child feels attacked, not encouraged. Always end your praise on a high, positive note!
Why This Works (and How it Helps Your Child)
Strategic Praise is not about spoiling your child. It’s a short-term program designed to build strong, positive habits. When children receive this kind of specific, enthusiastic, and immediate praise, they are more likely to repeat the desired behavior. It helps them practice the right actions, which, as the Yale course explains, actually helps to “lock in” those behaviors in their brain!
My Journey with Early Minds Hub:
I’m committed to bringing you the best, research-backed advice to help you on your parenting journey. This is just one of many powerful techniques I’m learning from top universities.
Stay tuned for more insights!